Have you ever looked at a program, course, retreat, or coaching offer and felt a tug of curiosity, maybe even excitement, only to stroll away seconds later with a quiet “maybe later” or “I just can’t justify that right now?”

Well, you’re not alone. I recently had a client ‘ghost’ me after discussion of working together that served as a keen reminder of the why we can hesitate to invest in support services or systems that will improve our state of being or help us plan our next steps.

Most of us are wired to pause when investing in ourselves. Whether it’s our wellness, personal growth, or leadership development, something in us throws up a stop sign. It’s often subtle, wrapped in logic, and disguised as responsibility. But underneath it? There’s usually fear, doubt, and a sense of unworthiness, as well as a hefty dose of old conditioning. So, let’s talk about it.

The Real Reasons We Hold Back

Reason #1. “I can’t afford it” often means “I’m not sure I’m worth it.”

Money is a very real factor and influence. Budgets matter. But it’s also true that many of us spent hundreds, even thousands, on things that we genuinely feel nourish us. Things like fast fashion, gadgets, subscriptions, and takeout. Yet, we freeze when it comes to something that could change how we feel or show up in our lives.

Why? Because it feels indulgent, even selfish. We’ve been taught to serve others first, to earn our rest, and to be fine without asking for help. So, spending on our own well-being? Well, that just feels unjustified.

Reason #2. We’re afraid of what change might require.

Growth sounds great on paper. But the real growth? It asks things of us. Time. Energy. Honesty. The willingness to look at old patterns. That’s no small thing.

So, when we consider a program or coach that promises transformation, our nervous system goes into alert mode. Even if we want the results, there’s a part of us that whispers, “What if I can’t handle this? What if I fail? What if I change and everything else in my life doesn’t?”

Reason #3. We’re not used to prioritizing ourselves.

Putting ourselves first can feel unnatural or even wrong for caregivers, high achievers, people-pleasers, and those in the helping professions or industries. We’re so used to pouring into everyone else that the idea of putting our own name at the top of the priority list feels…off.

And that’s precisely why it matters.

What Happens When We Don’t Invest?

When we chronically hesitate to invest in ourselves, we normalize struggle. We start to believe that burnout is just part of the job, that stress is just part of success, and that exhaustion is just how life works now.

We stay stuck in loops that wear us down, often quietly. Our health takes a hit, our relationships may become strained, and our energy flattens. We also tell ourselves this is just a phase. If I just wait one more day, month, year. Maybe with the next promotion, things will improve. What I found was the old patterns persisted and I found myself even more burned out than I was before and wondering where to find the escape hatch door!

Reality check? If we want something to change, we have to change.

That means giving ourselves permission to say “yes”. Not because we have something to prove or because others need us at our best, but because we matter. Full stop.

Your wellness isn’t just a tool for productivity or service. It’s a reflection of your inherent worth. You are not only allowed to care for yourself but you’re worthy of that care simply by being.

And the beautiful truth is: when we honour our own wellbeing, we don’t diminish our ability to support others, we expand it. We become more grounded, more present, more generous. Not from depletion, but from a place of completion and fullness.

How To Move Through The Resistance

If you’re feeling the intuitive nudge to grow but also the fear that comes along side of that, here are some gentle ways to work through it:

Name what you’re afraid of

Ask yourself, what’s really stopping me? Is the money. Is it fear of failure? Fear of what others might think? Sometimes, just naming it takes away its power.

Reframe “cost” vs. “value”

Instead of focusing on what it costs, ask: What might it cost me to stay where I am? What would feeling clear, energized, and grounded again or finally having a sense of clarity and direction be worth?

Start small but start

You don’t need to commit to a six-month transformation journey today. Maybe it’s a single session, a short course, or a retreat. Just pick something that moves you towards yourself.

Remember, you are not broken; you’re just tired.

Most people don’t invest in growth because they feel something is wrong with them. But what if there’s nothing wrong with you? What if you’re exhausted from carrying too much for too long, and now it’s time to get the support and results you crave?

Talk to someone who gets it

Talk to someone you trust. A coach, a peer, a friend who’s done something similar. Hearing someone else say “I felt that too, but I’m so glad I said yes” can shift everything.

Final Thought

You are not weak for wanting help. This is your wisdom speaking.

I thought I was weak for years. I wanted change in my life, but I did not know how or where to start. I waited for what felt like far too long to seek out the help I needed to carve out my path, but once I did, the world opened to me. Opportunities to stretch and find new, more resilient paths became more evident and achievable.

Investing in yourself, your growth, your healing, and your health is not an expense. It’s an act of leadership, courage, and reclaiming your own energy and power.

So, if something has been calling to you lately, consider this your gentle nudge. You don’t have to leap all at once. But you do get to stop waiting for permission because no one else will tap you on the shoulder and say it’s your turn.

You get to decide that.

If you’re ready to take a step toward energy, clarity, and ease, let’s talk.

The EXHALE Method™ is my signature approach to helping leaders like you reset the nervous system, reconnect with purpose, and build sustainable resilience from the inside out.

👉 Book a free clarity & fit call HERE. 
👉 Learn more about how Executive Exhale can help you at www.executiveexhale.com

Your well-being is not a luxury. It’s your foundation to living a life and career that doesn’t suck the life out of you!