Let’s be honest: somewhere along the way, we were taught that heart and leadership don’t mix, that empathy makes you weak, that if you show too much humanity, you’ll lose credibility, and that leadership is about grit, logic, and results, not about feelings.
I know this story well because I lived it.

For years, I led in high-pressure environments such as healthcare, emergency response, public service. Places where risks were to be mitigated, and performance was the priority. Where you learned quickly to armor up, keep it professional and push through. Don’t let them see you sweat.

But what if that story isn’t true anymore? What if it was never true, to begin with?
In this post, I want to talk about a myth that continues to hold back some of the most brilliant, capable, and caring leaders I know: the myth that being heart-centered is a liability. When, in fact, it’s your edge.

Where the Myth Comes From

The idea that empathy has no place in leadership is baked into many traditional leadership models. We still reward stoicism over sensitivity, admire decisiveness over presence, and expect people to manage others without ever having to learn how to manage themselves.

Some industries, such as tech and finance, suffer more than others. There’s this underlying pressure to stay in control at all costs, to avoid emotion, and to lead with data, not your gut.

Don’t get me wrong; data is essential—logic matters. But when we lead solely from the neck up, we cut off our most powerful leadership tools: intuition, presence, empathy, and connection.

And the cost to ourselves and our organization is high: disengagement, burnout, toxic cultures, and leaders who are barely holding it together behind closed doors.

What the Science Says

If you’re anything like me, you want more than good vibes; you want evidence. So, let’s discuss what the research actually says about empathy.

A study published in the Journal of Organizational Behavior looked at empathy in leadership. This study did not just look at whether it was a “nice to have” but whether it made a difference. The results? Leaders who showed empathic concern had teams that performed better and reported higher job satisfaction. This isn’t a guess; it’s measurable. [1]

Another report from Catalyst in 2021 surveyed over 900 employees and found that those with highly empathic leaders were more likely to report innovation, engagement, and lower rates of burnout. [2] In other words, empathy drives performance, not just morale.

Neuroscience backs it up. Empathy lights up the parts of the brain involved in thoughtful decision-making and navigating right from wrong. Our brains are wired for connection. When we ignore that in the workplace or in our lives, we’re not being more effective and are contributing to our disconnectedness.

So no, leading with heart isn’t weak. It’s wise, especially at a time when people are more burned out and disillusioned than ever.

My Turning Point

Here’s the thing: I didn’t always connect to my own intuitive empathetic core. I grew my career through systems that demanded endurance, not emotional awareness. I was great at solving problems under pressure, keeping people calm in crises, and getting things done.

But it came at a cost. I burned out twice within a five-year time span. During the recovery from my second experience in 2021, I realized how much of myself I’d been suppressing to lead the way I thought I was supposed to.

Through that process, I discovered mindfulness and breathwork and eventually trained and certified in a modality called HeartBreath™. This guided somatic practice uses our breath to rewire our neurological system. I learned how to pause, feel, live, and lead from clarity.
What changed? Everything.

I became more present, grounded, and in tune with my family, friends, and the people I was leading and coaching. I noticed the shift in my clients, too. When they allowed their hearts to take the lead, not instead of logic but alongside it, they made better decisions, built stronger teams, and created more sustainable lives.

Why This Matters Right Now

We’re at a turning point in how we work and lead. Leaders have to navigate managing hybrid teams, increased stress levels, rising burnout, and an overall questioning of one’s purpose and whether one’s work still aligns with one’s values.

What worked a decade ago just isn’t cutting it anymore. We don’t need more leaders who can power through. Our workplaces and world need more leaders who can pause, regulate, connect, and lead from a place of clarity rather than chaos.

We need leaders who can tolerate discomfort without shutting it down. Leaders who can model self-awareness rather than just deliver results. Leaders who understand that creating psychological safety isn’t coddling but part of a broader success strategy.

And here’s the best part: this doesn’t require you to become someone you’re not. It’s not about being emotional all the time or turning meetings into therapy sessions. It’s about purposely becoming more human and less ‘robotic.’

5 Practical Ways to Lead With Heart

You might be thinking, “This sounds good, but how do I actually do it?”
Here are five ways to lead with more heart without losing clarity, authority, or outcomes.

Presence Before Performance

Start your meetings, conversations, or even your day with a pause. This can be a few slow breaths through the nose, a walk in nature, or listening to music that calms or soothes. When you show up present, not just prepared, your neurological system leads the room before you even say a word. This changes the tone in the room for everyone else.

You don’t need to launch into an agenda right away. Try opening with a simple check-in or moment of silence. Let people arrive, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

Create Space to Listen

This goes beyond hearing people. It’s about creating an intentional space where people feel safe to speak. Ask questions like:

“What’s something you’re carrying right now that no one sees?”
“What’s one thing you need right now that you’re not getting?”

And then pause. Hold the space and wait for the response. Be like an executive coach and become comfortable with empty air or quiet to allow the response to emerge. You are not looking for data, rather establishing trust. 

This isn’t about over-functioning as a leader. It’s about trusting your team enough to let them be honest with you and themselves.

Model Emotional Regulation

You set the tone. If you’re reactive, anxious, or overwhelmed, that trickles down fast. If you can regulate yourself by breathing, pausing, and responding instead of reacting, you invite others to do the same.

I recommend breathwork to my executive clients because it’s one of the fastest ways to shift one’s physical and emotional state. But even without that, one intentional breath before responding can change the entire trajectory of a conversation.

Be Real, Not Raw

There’s a big difference between vulnerability and oversharing. Heart-centered leadership doesn’t mean putting all your emotions on the table. It means being honest, being human, and owning your mistakes or uncertainties with composure.

Remember: share from the scar, not the wound.

When you can be authentic without making it about you, you build trust. You normalize imperfection and create psychological safety for others to show up authentically.

Ask: “Am I Leading From Fear or From Clarity?”

This one’s powerful.

Before a big decision, a tough conversation, or even sending that email, pause and ask yourself: “Is this coming from fear or from clarity?”

Fear pushes us to control, to micromanage, to shut down nuance. Clarity allows us to lead with steadiness, even when things are uncertain. That one question has changed how I lead or respond more times than I can count.

The Real Strength of Leading With Heart

This isn’t about trading power for softness. It’s about recognizing that sustainable, trusted, and human power comes from alignment, self-awareness, empathy, and presence.

You don’t have to lead with heart instead of strength.
You lead with heart to amplify your strength.

And let’s be honest: we are in a season of leadership that demands more humanity, not less. People aren’t looking for perfect leaders. They’re looking for present ones, grounded ones, human ones.

So, if you’ve been told you’re too sensitive to lead, too empathetic, too soft, this is your invitation to stop believing that lie. Those qualities are precisely what we need more of.
You’re not too much. You’re right on time.

Final Thoughts

Leadership is changing. The future belongs to those willing to bring their full selves to the table. You don’t need to do this alone, and you don’t need to trade your heart for your role.

If this resonates with you, take one step this week. Pause before that next meeting. Ask a deeper question. Regulate your response. Choose clarity over control.

That’s heart-centered leadership in action.

Ready to lead with more clarity, presence, and impact, without burning out?

Visit Executive Exhale to explore resources designed for heart-centered leaders who are done with outdated leadership models.

While you’re there, download my Instant Calm Meditation—a free guided practice that can help you reset in just a few minutes.

If you’re curious about what it could look like to lead from the inside out and to feel more aligned in your life and leadership, book a clarity and fit call with me to explore options for you or your organization.

It’s time to lead from the heart—with strength, strategy, and soul.

Blog References

[1] Kock, H., & Heyns, M. (2018). Empathy in leadership: Appropriate or misplaced? Journal of Organizational Behavior, 39(3), 339–349.

[2] Catalyst. (2021). The Power of Empathy in Times of Crisis and Beyond. Retrieved from www.catalyst.org